I have been taking Heidi in and out of school to see doctors today, for her foot as well as her allergy. Now I am at home, she is watching TV, and I am finally relaxed. It is interesting how writing can just be a relaxing thing for me where you can just let your thoughts go and float among the imaginations. The reality sometimes is not so pleasing, however, the reality is also wonderful because it lets you see how human beings really work. We all have our shortcomings while sometimes our egos can overcome us and eat us live. Oh, no, that will be a really bad part. Yesterday John and I were reading the Genesis and I did a comparison study between Genesis and the new testament and found God did the same thing to human as it is to Jesus — is to throw the temptations in front of them. The difference is Jesus chose to fully depend on God as he knew that he could not fight it alone. When I grew up, as a thinker and writer by nature, I often questioned Genesis, does God really don’t want us to know truth or evil? I don’t believe a loving God would do that. I think as every wise parent will tell you, the very thing they are afraid of is for the kids to know just about enough to kill themselves. If you cannot obtain the full knowledge of something, it is actually quite dangerous to have half knowledge; as an extreme sharp sword needs to be owned by a trained master.
Now, why God throws the temptations in front of us, knowing we cannot do it without him?
MMM…let’s close our eyes and relax…
Bird: Tweet, tweet.
Heidi: Bird, I will come and help you. Tweet, tweet.
Bird: Tweet, tweet, tweet.
Money is a boy with a limited stomach, once the stomach explodes, that’s the end of him. He needs to be very careful, about everything he eats, but it never fails to see him overstuffing. Power is a man walking in companions, three makes a good team, not to joke or tease. They keep him in check and balance, but he wants to walk away from them and self-destroy. Fame is a lady, in grande style, craving for accessories and attention. Her laughter attracts a following, but don’t find her drunk, for the hang-over may be permanent. Money, Power and Fame; one day they can come to you, it is for you to know each personality, and beware. They can play well together; or else, you find yourself in a disaster you couldn’t fix.
When Heidi was in Kindergarten, she had two teachers teaching her. One day I asked a very typical “Chinese” question “which one is your favorite teacher?” She gave it a thought and said “I like them both. They are different.” As a Chinese growing up, I was often asked tricky questions like this, especially when it concerned about my parents. “Who is your favorite, your mommy or your daddy?” I didn’t know, frankly! But when I thought about it, I did believe I have some kind of preferences, though I knew they were who they were. Only recently did I start to appreciate their differences and start to learn how to like both of them.
My daughter bought this Jessie hat from Disneyland and once she put it on, with her freckles on her cheeks, she looked — exactly like Jessie! So, naturally, when people knew her spotted her, they called her “Jessie.” She insisted, however, to be called “Heidi”– “H” “e” “i” “d” “i.” She complained at school no one can spell her name correctly according to the sound. “They all spell it as H-i-d-i” as Heidi complained. “Oh, your name is not an English name.” “Then what it is?” “It is German.” “Oh…”
A few days later, on the way back from school, my daughter was thrilled to announce that she told her friends that her name was German and taught them how to spell it correctly.
From the uniqueness of her name, she seems to seek her identity among the crowd, as a unique person.
I call her lovely even when she is shouting that “I need space!” for, I interrupt her play. I call her lovely even when she is lying on the floor throwing temper tantrum, for, she is not getting her way. I call her lovely even when she kicks me, for, I have to discipline her ever now and then.
Not because she is lovely at these times, in fact, I think she is a little monster to be tamed. Not because these behaviors are lovely, in fact, I hate them and want them out of her system. Not because she is my daughter, though, I would say, I still like her to be my daughter.
Because she is developing, and there are frustrations given in between. Because I am growing my patience, and I believe it is part of my job to make her understand. And because, I guess, that is the biggest because, God has loved us when we are not lovely and has never failed us.
My job is that of entertainment industry. So as an entertainment industry professional, I have subscribed to Variety, an industry magazine. I normally have the magazines scattered around, not paying much attention to it. Variety normally covers a variety of topics and is not a very crowd pleasing magazine, therefore does not have many attention noted pictures on the cover or in the inserts. However, occasionally, you can still cross a few. And one time, they did have a sexual cover on too. Tonight, my daughter whispers to me and asks me if I can screen these magazines first and put them away so she doesn’t need to see them. Otherwise, she says, I may get bad ideas.
I am dumbfounded. It reminds me of the Christian teachings that we do not see, hear, or think about things that we shall not, then we do not do them.
Today I talked to my high school math teacher, and as usual he did nothing but to encourage me in my journey of writing. I have graduated from my high school for twenty years and he still has this passion for all the students he has taught. We all remembered as a class that he used his savings to pay for the field trips of all students. On each student’s birthday, he would remember to allot the money to get the student a small birthday cake from a bakery called “Red Diamond” in Chinese. When he taught math, he made it fun and interesting. One of the students, who was considered the “talented” math material then, is now an outstanding scientific staff in Shanghai. My math teacher not only tutored him but also cooked pots of Chinese herbs for him to supplement nutrition back then. A teacher who teaches with his heart and soul is very hard to find. As a whole class, we all feel very blessed to have him. I guess he inspires us to be a better person, one who can pass these on to the next generation.
Last night, my daughter just said she wanted to stage a play and started to describe this wonderful play with me and my husband in it. I couldn’t keep track of what she said so I said “do you want to write it down?” “Ok!” She grabbed a pencil and I said “You can take a clean piece of paper.” She knew where to draw the paper from. She started to write, and she wrote, and she wrote, and she couldn’t stop. She started to read her play and edited it while at it. When I commented her good use of words and gave her a high five, she was thrilled and cheered. She got excited and wrote more until her hands were sore!
What a joy she discovered! The joy of writing! She started to see how the words come alive and how the writing can be translated into a play. Magic. But the pure magic are the thoughts and imaginations that are woven into the fabric of the play. It is wonderful.
My daughter really likes to draw and paint. I mean “really” — she can draw and paint without stop. One picture after another, tirelessly. She can make paper tables, chairs and handbags for her fairies, and she can also just copy Matisse or Picasso. One time I was showing her different paintings of different artists, and was asking her what she liked most. She expressed that she could not answer that question. She likes all painters since they all like to paint. Even if she may not like all their paintings, she still can study and learn some part of it and use it on her own painting. I was amazed to hear what she had to say and I said I wish I could see the same way when it came to writing. I had to say, I like her “Artitude.”« go back — keep looking »